Lighting the Next Step

Fellas,

There’s a story told in the mountains of Bhutan, (South Asia)

A father and son were walking a forest path late at night. Every step snapped a twig The trees were dense, the sky moonless. The boy stumbled again and again. Trying to see through the shadows.

“I can’t tell where we’re going,” he said.

The father lifted a lantern. Its glow barely stretched a few feet ahead.
“Neither can I,” he said. “But if we keep moving, the light moves with us.”

So they walked slowly, together just one step at a time.

That’s fatherhood in a nutshell. You won’t always have a map. You won’t always know the right answer, the perfect phrase, or the clear way forward. But you carry the lantern. With patience, presence, and persistence, you light enough ground for the next step.

And over time, your child learns something powerful. Not that the path is always clear, but that they can trust the one walking beside them.

Building a Vision After Everything Changes

Divorce comes with an ugly myth, that the family is permanently broken. That the best chapters are already behind you.

That’s a lie.

You don’t need a flawless plan. You just need a direction.

You still get to build what comes next. A story where your child sees how to lead forward even when life doesn’t follow the script.

How to start:

Zoom out, then zoom in.

Ask yourself:

Then reverse-engineer it. Break it down: monthly steps, weekly rituals, daily habits. A vision without structure is just a daydream.

Use your schedule like a hammer.
You don’t need theme parks or grand gestures. The most powerful gift is consistency.
A Saturday phone call. A bedtime story over Zoom. A weekly walk in the park.

Small, steady rituals become rhythms. Rhythms become trust. Trust becomes legacy.

When You’re Afraid of Saying the Wrong Thing

This is one of Fatherhood’s quiet paradoxes. We often go silent not because we don’t care, but because we care too much.

You don’t want to say the wrong thing. You don’t want to trigger pain. Nor make a promise you can’t keep. So you hesitate. Keep it vague. You go quiet.

But here’s the problem: silence doesn’t feel like safety to a child.
It feels like absence.

Even clumsy honesty is better than an empty space.

What helps:

Answering the Voice of Guilt

Guilt is sneaky. It takes one missed weekend, one lost temper, one poor choice and tries to brand you with it forever.

It whispers, you blew it. You’re too late. Your kids are better off without you.

That voice in your head isn’t you. You are the person listening to that voice.

What helps:

Habits That Turn “Someday” Into “Today”

Vision inspires. Habits deliver.

We all dream about being a better dad someday when the job calms down, when co-parenting smooths out, when life finally stabilizes.

But growth doesn’t wait for calm. It happens in the chaos.

Start here:

Bringing It Together

If you’re reading this, you might be standing in a chapter you didn’t ask for. Court dates. Drop-offs. Phone calls instead of dinners.

But hear me, you’re still the author.

You’re still holding the lantern.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect man. They need a steady one. The kind who says,

“Let’s take one more step. I’ll go with you.”

A Father who believes the future is still worth building and lights the way, one step at a time.

So dream out loud, Dad.

Say what needs saying.

Show what resilience looks like.

And keep walking.

Because even in the dark your light still leads.

Until next time,

Barkim

P.S. I put together a job finder on the archive/site. For anyone looking for a Gig or to switch careers… Check it out.